the Real Me
Let the real you shine—no apologies, no people pleasing, no excuses for who and what you are.
As far back as I can remember, I thought it was paramount to be liked in order to be loved. If I wasn’t liked, my life would be miserable. People pleasing was the way to ensure my place with my parents and extended family, school, church, community, and society. Every morsel of love was linked to the approval from all those around me. Others determined my worth by how well I satisfied their desires and needs. I believed this to be an absolute truth and never doubted this was the way I was meant to live.
As I began my spiritual awakening, things shifted. The more I communicated with Spirit, the more restless I became. Who was the authentic me? What did I truly want in life? What does it mean to be a divine being? I had spent my life putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own, so these were big, scary questions propelling me to reframe how I viewed and took care of myself. It meant accepting that I—and I alone—am responsible for shaping my life. Yet here is the dichotomy: I am not alone because Spirit is there to support and guide me. Learning to love myself first in order to truly love others felt foreign and beyond my capacity.
The journey has been interesting, to say the least. Busy with classes, meditation groups, and studying as a medium and energy healer, I had so much to learn. Those “ah-ha” moments were always fantastic, whereas the “ah crap” moments presented opportunities for growth. I admit a definite preference for the “ah-ha” moments but recognize the real value of the learning occasions as well.
Early on, I started keeping a journal. Some days all that made it into the journal were the angel cards I drew that day or a simple thank you to Spirit for helping me get through the day. Increasingly, I discovered I was actually writing new things—stories, ideas, poems. Over time, I came to refer to them as my Spirit tutorials. A tutor is someone who offers individualized lessons to help you gain insight into a topic.
This book is a compilation of these Spirit tutorials, with guiding questions to help you connect with and complete your personal Spirit tutorial. Not every tutorial or poem will resonate with you. That is fine; take only what speaks to you, and leave the rest. I certainly won’t be offended or hurt. After all, the focus of this part of my journey is on giving up the need for others’ approval and embracing everything from a detached but loving perspective.
As you do your work, remember you seek a divine or higher perspective of love as you create and re-create the real you. It is also from this perspective that you understand how much you are truly loved and supported on your journeys, even during the “ah crap” moments.
Remember to be gentle with yourself.
With much love, tenderness, and gratitude,